Tuesday, August 6, 2013
I infamously know of you by the tens of boxes lying around the dinner table. It is not to say that I hate you or anything, Dr. You've helped her enough. But they just keep coming back.
I have given her hope. Hope is always good for people.
I laugh, treating it like a joke -- though as a mechanism to keep her smiling. "This isn't the right one.. it's for feet, mom!"
She agreed. But I always knew there was that lingering thought in the back of her head that nothing would work.
That was why she agreed without hesitation.
I went to the store with her. We looked through aisles and aisles for something that damn Dr. Scholl's (I'm not hating you).
"It's not here," She said hopelessly. Looking so thoroughly.
I couldn't stand to see her like that. Her eyes just spoke to me with such hopelessness.
It was a blank stare.
I had to give her hope again, I just had to! I grabbed the store brand wart remover and showed it to her.
"It will work," That piece of hope I keep pounding into her head.
But damn, this world. It is the cause of her burning desire to remove those numerous and disgusting warts on her hand.
...I shouldn't say disgusting, though. Because it puts me on the same level of you guys -- that is the root of her mind-consuming need to remove them.
But I cannot also say that they are not disgusting. I admit, I have refused food prepared by her naked and infectious hands.
"I'm not hungry," I would always say and then make myself dinner later that night. Is that hurting her? Is it killing her slowly?
The eyes of strangers and the rejection of her own home-cooked meals by her own son.
Why has she abstained from relationships that could bring the color back into her life drained by the passing of her late husband?
Mom, please. Don't be sad. Don't worry. I accept your warts. I accept it wholeheartedly. I won't rewash the dishes in secrecy! I will eat your cooking! I love you!
Please, just live a little more! Don't be afraid, they may not be seen in approval by others but they will now by me!
She grew several more in return of getting rid of several more.
Though, it keeps me just a bit happy when she runs into my room and shows me that she got rid of one. I just know that there's still that lingering thought in her head.